Working postpartum

Tonight was hard.  For the most part I have been ok at work.  Some nights are definitely harder then others.  For instance tonight I had to take a pt to NICU.  She was giving the baby up for adoption.  I mustard up the courage because I don't like going down there but we were busy and I just took her.  I bawled the entire way back to the floor.  I just don't understand how God can let some people who 1. don't want babies 2. don't care about there babies 3. mistreat there babies and get to have more or continue to be bad moms.  Unfortunately I see this way too much.  I loved my job but it is getting harder to be here and not have anything to look forward too.  Almost every night I'm here someone asks how my baby is and I have to tell them he passed away and try to maintain my composure.  I really need some positive vibes from God and i'm getting frustrated waiting...